SUPERIOR ATTACK

I love these lyrics

“You come beating like moth’s wings/spastic and violently/whipping me into a storm/shaking me down to the core/but you run away from me/and you’ve left me shimmering/like diamond wedding rings/spinning dizzily down on the floor/”

-Passion Pit “Moth’s Wings”

“You’re hiding from yourself/yes you are, yes you are/like golden rays of sun/in the clouds/I will make you see/haven’t you got it, haven’t you got it yet/just lay down for a while next to me/didn’t mean to make you panic/didn’t mean to put you off/baby it’s the way that you’ve got me/I listen to my heart and it takes you high/and you ask me how/can I show you how/I need your love now, now, now/”

-Royksopp “You Don’t Have A Clue”

“There’s nothing you can do for them/they are the force between/when the sunlight is arising/there’s nothing you can say to her/I am without a heart/and the space has been broken/it’s broken/our love/broken/”

-Gorillaz “Broken”

“That night I smoked a joint/with my best friend/we found ourselves in bed/when I woke up he was gone/he was a diplomat’s son/it was ‘81/he was a diplomat’s son/it was ‘81/looking out at the ice cold water all around me/I can’t feel any traces of that other place/in the dark when the wind comes racing off the river/there’s a car all black with diplomatic plates/”

-Vampire Weekend “Diplomat’s Son

“Say it/but I don’t want to play the part/and I don’t want a taste of victory/no I don’t want to read your thoughts anymore/My God/’cause today my heart swings/yeah today my heart swings/”

-Interpol “Heinrich Maneuver”

“The people I’ve met and the places I’ve been/are all who make me the man I so proudly am/but I wanna know one thing/when did I become a ghost/mostly confused about the world I live in/you think that I’m lonely, well, I probably am/one thing that still gets me/When did I become a ghost/I hope they understand that I really understand that they don’t understand/”

-Kid Cudi “Ghost!”

“You don’t move slow/taking steps in my directions/The sound resounds, echo/does it lessen your affection/no/you say I’m foolish/for pushing this aside/but burn down our home/I won’t leave alive/”

-The XX “Crystalised”

“and i believe in gentle harmony/well how i loathe all this obscenity/is this the way my life has got to be/have i a single opportunity/look at me oh look at me is this the way i’ll always be/oh no, oh no/now i pray that somebody will quickly come and kidnap me/oh no, oh no/everyday i lie awake and pray to god today’s the day/oh no, oh no/here i am oh here i am oh when will someone understand/oh no, oh no/”

-Passion Pit “The Reeling”

“told me you love me/that i’d never die alone/hand over your heart let’s go home/everyone noticed/everyone has seen the signs/i’ve always been known to cross lines/i never ever cried when i was feeling down/i’ve always been scared of the sound/jesus don’t love me/no one ever carried my load/i’m too young to feel this old/”

-Kings of Leon “Cold Desert”

“Forever is a long long time/when you’ve lost your way/trying to follow your ideal/oh sorry but your so called life/it is such a waste/wear your real eyes/no you don’t realize/what you say yes to/but you say yes too/”

-Phoenix “Lasso”

“So sentimental/Not sentimental, no!/Romantic, not discussing it/Darling I’m down and lonely/When we’re the fortunate only/I’ve been looking for something else/Duel it, duel it, duel it, juggle it, duel it, duel it/Go slowly, discouraged/Distant from other interests/On your favorite we can end it/This love’s for gentlemen only/That’s with the fortunate only/No I gotta be someone else/These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes/”

-Phoenix “Lisztomania”

“I had a feeling once/That you and I/Could tell each other everything/For two months/But even with an oath/With truth on our side/When you turn away from me/It’s not right/I think ur a contra/”

-Vampire Weekend “Contra”

Bullshit

Honey, now that you’ve got me,
Let me let you know that not a single one
Of my sixty seconds of coitus are sloppy
I won’t hit a girl or call her bitch
Call me Mahatma Gandhi
Pleasuring the opposite sex is my hobby
I’ll leave you hobbling in the hotel lobby
And no, that picture doesn’t depict the full length of my genitalia—
They had to crop me
Pun intended, you could call me cocky
I’m a tall, dark and handsome nerd:
Yes, my disc is floppy.
I’m so sexy it’s a crime
And the long arm of the law doesn’t have a chance to stop me
I can go until the umpteenth round as if my name was Rocky
Added to the fact that my Bullwinkle is stocky
Jocks used to be hatin’ cause they couldn’t block me
Cheerleaders and librarians scream “Ay, Papi!”
If my shirt had a collar, it’d be saying “Pop me.”
I’m fortunate in my daily life;
All the time I’m getting lucky
All in all you could say that I push the ladies’ hotkeys.
And I’m super cool, but I’m black, so I don’t play hockey
And I don’t ice ski, I just eat ice cream
It seems to me it’s plain to see I’m the world’s wet night dream.
And when I feel like it, I just do it like Nike.
My pseudonym is Mellow Yellow (quite rightly)
But this was all just blustering braggadocio
So please don’t cite me.

21st Century Love

Welcome to my 21st century love
So let’s start the romance
Even if we can’t hold hands
I’ll give you a poke, a wink, a nudge

We met in the everpresent garden of earthly delights
I’ll recreate Paris with the LED lights
We’re already in the bedroom,
Just shut your eyes, and the shutter
On your webcam.

We’ve got everything we need right here
(I’m trapped by my virginal fear)
We don’t have to go anywhere
(I’m too shy to do a thing but stare)

‘cause baby with my webcam
I can
Make all of your dreams come true tonight
I can’t make all of your dreams come true tonight.

Humphrey Bogart: Blueberry Connoisseur

“C’mon, Miguel. Hand over the berries, and we can all just go home.”

    It was a Mexican standoff. “You know what, Bogart? I don’t think so!” The mustachioed miscreant rolled the ripe blue spheres around in his palm. A trickle of blue juice ran down to the back of Raul’s hand and dropped slowly onto the floor. Humphrey Bogart looked back and forth between the dastard and his minion and his eyes widened as he swallowed in fear. Miguel Estévez was a dangerous smuggler, wanted in over 12 different countries for purloining of produce (a crime punishable by death in certain places). One small misstep and the pungent taste of the Cobalt Blueberries could be lost to the world forever.
    Humphrey clutched his twin Berettas even more tightly in his hands. Miguel wore an impassive face, but one glance into his eyes told a story of a man tainted by greed, living on the edge and prepared to do what he must to attain his heart’s desire. If the scum did not absolutely believe that Bogart would end his life if his finger so much as twitched, well, there would be three dead bodies on the ground, open mouths seeming to take a deep drink from a pool of crimson. As if he could read minds, Miguel cleared his throat and spoke. “Don’t be so sure you’ve got us pinned. Look to your right!”
    In his peripheral vision, he saw a red dot hovering over his heart. He grimaced and cursed internally. How he could he let himself get ambushed like this?  
    “That’s the ticket. So, Chumphrey, I think we’ll be taking this sweet little pile of cobalt gold and shoving off.” He gestured towards the temperature-controlled briefcase on the table in the center of the dimly lit room with his head as he drew a phone from his pocket and pressed a few buttons. “Pedro, if you would.” He then muttered into the phone in Spanish and hung up. The broad-shouldered Pedro lumbered over to the briefcase and lifted it casually, his gun trained on Humphrey’s forehead all the while. A bead of sweat trickled down the back of H.B.’s neck, from his perfectly even hairline to the starched collar of his Oxford button-down shirt. Not only was it so abominably hot, but this ranked in the top half of the five most nerve wracking messes he’d ever gotten into.
    Just as he was contemplating how to extricate himself and the blueberries, he heard the chopping sound of a helicopter flying near to the ground. “That must be my ride.” Raul said, grinning. “Better luck next time, Humphrey-boy.” His flunky and himself walked backward out of the cabin slowly, making sure that the blueberry connoisseur didn’t try to pull anything. Miguel stepped into the cabin and strapped himself in. Pedro handed him the briefase behind his back, and heaved himself onto the helicopter as it sped off. As soon as it was out of sight, the red bead disappeared from Humphrey, and he was left alone.
    Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. He reached into his left breast pocket and fished out his cell phone. “What?” he said irritably. “I know that must have been tough on you, letting him go like that after you’ve been tailing him for so long. You were super close, too. How do you feel right now? Gosh, probably pretty blue. More blue than those berries you let slip out—”
    “The point, please, Alice.” Humphrey bellowed.
    “The point is not to let it get to you. We’ll get him. But right now, what I need from you, Mr. Bogart, is to return to base. Mr. Schwartz will want to hear all about what happened from you. Besides, there’s been a call for a case that only a world-class connoisseur can solve…”

BUM BUM BUM. BUM BUM BUM. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUM.

…To be continued.

Holidays

What are the holidays?

A series of shams ungodly

Made by greedy, soulless, vapid

pricks and pawns?

Or is there something special in those lighted forms of metal

that always seem to turn up on peoples’ lawns?

I’ve seen a lot of things this year

A lot of highs and lows, now hear,

this evergreen charm is starting to bleed to white.

So if there’s one thing I’d love to see beneath a decked out Christmas tree

It’s a bit of truth, simple and clean

to shed some rhyme and reason

upon this blasted season

That has people rushing, hustling, bustling

a dizzying, endless stream

of this and that, and me, me, me

Explain, elucidate, make it clear

wrap it in bow, ribbon,

tag it if you must

address it to the world

Anything that to me will just

cause the layers of my mind to unfurl

and leave me wrapped, tender and mild,

And grant me the certainty of a child

That there is nothing more worthwhile

Than what I now see as fake cheer and smiles

Make it true, make it real,

Make me feel the spirit you feel

I’ll wish upon the star atop that tree

If I can just receive (for free or a fee?)

a knowledge that Christmas is better

than I’m currently unsure that it can be.